by Natasha H.
I’ll get straight to the point. The world is a-changing, or maybe it has already. As much as we women still adore a man in all his ruggedness and masculine charm, there are some of us who would appreciate it if you could help around the house a little. The paradigm of patriarch is shifting and our independence is growing.
I mean, let’s face it: chivalry is dead. But oh, come on, it’s almost 2015. Brand new year, brand new start right? Live a little, get your sh*t together and start paying attention to little things. That’s modern day chivalry for you if you’d still want to keep your girl sticking around.
Whether you acutely agree or agree to disagree, the vote is unanimous for us, girls. It takes a lot more than 16-inch biceps and nice perfume to woo us. So read on, boys. I’ll make this short and sweet and simple.
- Cheesy pick-up lines.
So you are in a club, she makes eye contact with you. She smiles. You walk over. You half-confidently drop a line you memorized from 9gag. Her smile disappears. She sidles away and you never see her again. What the hell happened? Here’s some hall-of-shame worthy lines I have gotten till date.
“Hi, wanna play a game?” (We can say no. Usually, we say yes just to see where it’s going)
“Hey baby, did you drop from heaven?” (I should have stayed up there)
“Hmm… do I know you? You look awfully familiar.” (We’d remember. Unless we’re drunk. Teehee)
“Hi, I’m James. I really like your dress/outfit. I really like your eyes too. Nice… everything.”
Whether she is remotely interested or not, a simple ‘Hi’ and a firm handshake is good enough for a start. There’s a reason why it’s billed the best pick-up line.
- If we don’t reply, we don’t reply. Period.
Sometimes, we’re just really busy. Simple as that. Other times, it means we’re not that into you. A lot of the times it’s the latter. Speaking of periods, what makes you think I would reply to full stops or ellipsis? Punctuations do not get our attention. Nor does practical jokes that only you, the sender, will understand.
Stop all the text bombarding too, please. (While I’m at it, damn the double blue ticks!)
And, don’t you get the hint already? No reply = Not. Interested. At. All.
- Crippling fear of independent girls
Sure, we can take care of ourselves. Stop assuming we do not need you around. Yes, we may put you down. Yes, we do work our asses off to build our career. Yes, we may think faster than you, scale the career ladder faster than you. But hey, don’t get all intimidated. We’d still like to be loved, appreciated… and maybe pampered.
Which brings me to my next point….
Why do you have to be so clingy? We need time to ourselves too. Think of it this way: we need some time to stay beautiful for you. Hairs do not remove themselves. Plucking, shaving, tweezing are part of our routine and we need to do this in our own time. We do not need or want to nurse a sick, insecure, attention-seeking puppy. If we wanted one, we’d check out the pet store.
- Stop lying.
We just know when you are. Don’t ask us how. We just do.
My mum once told me, “All men are cowards.”
My sister told me, “All cowards are different.”
My guy friend told me, “But if I tell her the truth, she’ll get angry. If I don’t tell, she’ll also get angry.”
Yes, we get that. A woman’s scorn scares you shitless. But each and every girl is different too and we all love it when a man stands up for us, supports us and is just there for us when we need him to be. Have a little more confidence in yourself and don’t take the rejections personally.
- Petty excuses.
a) “I’ll be late because of OT.”
b) “I can’t see you tonight ‘cause I got a paper cut.”
c) “My uncle’s dying at the hospital. I need to rush off.”
If you are really telling the truth (really, now?), good on you. Otherwise, a string of flakes probably means you are taking us for granted. Which simply means, it’s your loss. If you think we are not worth it, why would you be?
Each time you have to excuse yourself, please make an extra effort to make up for it. Extra, extra effort.
- We are not specimens.
Okay, I know of girls who love to show their boyfriends off because his body is wow. His face is equally wow. His package is even more wow. In my opinion, these girls are just plain naïve. Why would you want to do this to your special someone, only to gain some measure of face value?
The same goes here: we are more than just trophies. Stop exhibiting us. If you want a really pretty girl to be your date for a company dinner, just get straight up honest at the risk of having a drink thrown in your face. “I think you’re really pretty and I would like you to be my date for the company dinner. I can help pay for the dress (hint). I hope that’s alright with you.” And then politely introduce her to your colleagues on the night of the event.
- Boys will be boys.
If you want to be a boy, that’s fine. But then, you’ll have to treat us girls like princesses. Just like how she was a princess since she was 5 years old, since she had he first Barbie doll and since she hooked on her first push up bra. All girls are princesses. Well, in one way or another. How do you think whining, pouting and sulking came about?
10. Be a gentleman till the end.
Never stop opening doors for us.
Never stop telling us how happy we make you.
Never stop asking us how our day went.
Never stop calling us during your breaks. We know you just want to hear our voice. Just don’t do it every 2 minutes, alright?
Never stop telling how beautiful we are.
Never stop telling us how good we are in bed.
Never stop taking initiative.
Never stop being concerned and caring.
Never stop being earnest.
And if all else fails, accept that she probably isn’t the one for you.