The guys here at Seriously Man are suckers for storytelling. And here’s a good one you’d want to tune in to, involving the editor – me.
You see, one sweltering afternoon, I’d been out exposed to the sun for far too long on a stroll back from lunch. It certainly was doing myself no good with the perspiration and my temporarily impaired vision. I finally got indoors and ran up the stairs to the office – with white blotches from the glare clouding my sight. On the way down was a middle-aged lady. She probably wasn’t paying much attention to where she was going either, that is, until I literally ran headfirst and face-printed myself into her bosom.
Both of us were caught by surprise; we quickly acknowledged it as an accident and moved on. Was it embarrassing?
“Yes, it was embarrassing AF, I tell you.”
Was it a relief that the overexposure of my naked eye to the sun did not turn into a scary sexual harassment charge? Maybe.
One of the guys remarked: if I’d not left my S$400 pair of Burberry shades behind at my desk, I wouldn’t have been such a big Blurberry.
The Case For Needing Shades
Realistically speaking, you’d have much better luck catching the avian flu than have that happen to you. What is very likely to happen to you, however, is the accelerated erosion of your eyesight thanks to the UV rays. That white, blotchy temporary blindness I suffered? It may not be so temporary in 20 years’ time.
Yes, don’t kid yourself, man. It’s unhealthily hot out there and your skin is not the only victim. The good news is, if you’re sufficiently paranoid now (you’re welcome) and are serious about protecting your peepers, you just need to go out – maybe scour a good deal or three – and purchase a pair of sunglasses (not to the extent of those Rayban knockoffs sold at street markets – unless you want to risk the hearsay that they slowly kill your eyes).
The benefits don’t stop there, really. On top of your beach vacation needs, we did say in our accessories guide that it is also very useful for pretending not to see a prick of an acquaintance who has spotted you: the badass shades guy.
How To Pick The Right Sunglasses Style
The sun shines bright in Singapore 365 days a year. Metaphorically, at least (gotta count the monsoon season and sudden weather mood swings). Yet, many guys don’t have shades on outdoors. Of those who do, there’s a rather clear style-face mismatch.
To make your shades shopping a breeze, we thought it’d be swell to first furnish the deets on some of the more common men’s types out there:
I also thought I should list out all the different facial shapes, ask you to take out your pencil and ruler, and match them to the right shades like what you used to do in your primary school worksheets. But that’s too rigid. Some of our faces are more of a combination rather than one distinctive shape.
So the two best nugget-sized rules I can leave you with are these:
1. Buy a ‘universal’ design – like yoga pants but for your eyes. Look out for classic styles with rounded square lens. A little like Wayfarers above. More illustrations below.
2. Make an effort, just a little, to identify your face shape. It’s your own face, take some damn ownership. Then go for a pair of sunglasses that doesn’t make its structure any more obvious than it already is e.g. rectangular lens on square faces, teardrop aviators on inverted triangle faces
On a parting note, if you’ve got a few extra dollars to spare, ask for a polarised lens version of whatever you picked out. They’re made to fight glare. And to wear your new shades like a somewhat convincing badass (as opposed to a jackass or a blind rat), remember to take them off after sunset, and maybe try to keep the rest of your outfit pared down.