“If you fail to groom, you’re groomed to fail.” (Man, 2018)
This sagely wisdom of ours has motivated us to take all aspects of grooming very seriously, which includes the business of shaving. Us guys have hair growing out of the weirdest places, in the weirdest volumes, and that sucks because we’d be subjected to cruel judgement and mocking scrutiny when people see it.
Now that we’re done with your mug and your hairstyle in our Serious Grooming Guide, let’s get down to hairy issues immediately. You really don’t want unruly hairiness to derail you from your life’s destiny.
You go bring the razor and the scissors, we’ll bring the basics of shaving like a pro.
Whether you are rocking a full beard or an awkward spurt of bristles, and whether you are pro Razor or pro Electric, facial hair grows out really fast. Like, so fast, you are compelled to groom it almost every day.
Therein lies the problem: such frequent scraping of the skin invites irritation. Instead of looking smooth as silk, it could appear as if a venereal disease has broken out over the lower half of your face.
Do as professional barbershops do. Replicate the hot towel treatment by shaving only after a warm shower – the pores are widened and primed. Next, glide your shaver or razor along with the grain until you get a satisfyingly close shave.
(Pssst, going against the grain may cause ingrown hair.)
Done? Seal things up with a splash of cold water and give your face the TLC it deserves: Apply an aftershave.
Do as you would do for your face.
We can’t think of any way hairy pits add value to you. Aesthetically, your peeking cockroach feelers would gross out onlookers during the times you are sleeveless or topless – like how toe jam would. Scientifically, your underarm bush is a hotbed for bacteria – the prime suspect of B.O.
First use a clipper or trimmer to thin it down. When you’re in the shower, foam up your pits and shave the rest of it with a razor.
Spread the shaving cream over the expanse of your chest and razor off the unwanted hair in easy strokes. Especially around the nipples. You don’t want bleeding nipples.
Don’t be ignoring your navel and stomach to balance things. If DIY-ing the entire torso is too much work, that’s what your friendly neighbourhood waxologist is for.
Let the pros handle your junk. Book an appointment at the waxing salon. No, seriously. Bleeding nipples is child’s play compared to bleeding scrotum.