What IS sexting, really? One of the dating rituals of the modern world, it’s a lot more complex than knocking your desired woman out with a club and then dragging her back to your man cave. (Although we’re pretty sure some of you wish it were still as simple as that.)
Think of it as that secret bonus level between the casual world of texting and the elusive one of actual physical intimacy: difficult to navigate, but with the promise of big rewards. Do it right and the sexual tension between yourself and your lady will ratchet up quite a few notches, plus you get to learn more about what she prefers in the bedroom.
So, how do we know if she’s ready?
Much like detecting if a potential mate is ready to get down in the animal kingdom, the human male brain has its own radar for sensing when a human female is sexually interested. The key, gentlemen, is to fine-tune this radar so that it can pick this up even from a few words on a screen.
Sign #1: She opens up.
Hold your horses! We mean the emotional kind. When a girl lets her guard down and is comfortable with telling you what she’s doing at the moment (even if it’s just lounging in bed… heck, better if it’s lounging in bed), how she’s feeling, and maybe even what she’s wearing without being asked… You know she’s allowing you a glimpse into her private world and who she really is.
Don’t go in for the kill just yet. The key is to slowly, stealthily move in -so stealthily she doesn’t even have a clue what you’re doing.
Here are some examples of ideal responses:
Her: “Oh I’m just lazing around in bed, don’t feel like getting up yet.”
Worst possible response: A pig emoticon followed by what sounds like a lame ass “hahaha”
Best possible response: “Sounds like an ideal way to spend the morning… Mind if I join you? ;)”
Her: “It’s freezing in the office and I only have a thin cardigan to wear.”
Worst possible response: “Ask your colleague to lend you something?”
Best possible response: “Need a cuddle?”
We know cuddling is low on your list of sexy things to do, gentlemen. But for the ladies it’s way up there. Think of it this way: cuddling to women is like sex to men. “Want a cuddle?” is the perfect response to almost anything – whether she’s down from a bad day, or having a fever, or scared/upset/nervous/cold/anything other than happy. Even if it doesn’t actually happen, it triggers the notion of security in the female brain and she now sees you as something more than just a caveman -a caveman who might actually understand her and therefore is worthy of intimacy with her.
Sign #2: She leaves it hanging for you.
A sure sign she’s ready to start: when she gives you replies that are deliberately vague yet not-so-innocent. Even better if they’re finished off with the wink emoticon. We all know what wink emoticons mean.
You can take a more direct approach, or play the vague-answers game with her, which can be equal parts frustrating and exciting. Here’s how:
You: “What’s your favourite dessert?”
Her: “Oh I don’t know… Chocolate maybe? It’s delicious. ;)”
Worst possible response: “I always thought girls prefer strawberry.”
Direct approach: “Think it’ll be more delicious if I feed it to you. ;)”
The suggestive approach: “Know what else is delicious? Whipped cream…”
The key in this game is to stoke the senses. Even if it’s just an innocuous reference to whipped cream and chocolate, those images conjure feelings of indulgence and decadence in the female mind. Feelings you want to be associated with you.
You: “Tell me more about yourself.”
Her: “Hmm… I do have a few bad habits…”
Worst possible response: “Oh.”
Direct approach: “Care to tell me more about them? We’ll see if you’re really a bad girl. ;)”
The suggestive approach: “Oh? I have a few of them myself… ;)”
Bonus tip: How to know she is NOT ready for sexting
If she peppers her replies with ‘haha’ and ‘lol’. This is a girl who’s keeping things light and friendly, and there is nothing more difficult in the world than trying to up the heat in a conversation like that. Wait till she’s in a more sensual mood. Or till it’s late at night. Whichever comes first.
The key is to keep your eyes and ears peeled for these opportunities. Thick skin helps too; not just for the sake of tipping her over in all that Whatsapp sexchange, but dealing with rejection when your attempts fall embarrassingly flat.
Meanwhile, get out there, grab some numbers from unsuspecting girls and put your new found skills into practice. (Wink).