You’re going to be spending a lot of your off-duty time (and on-duty, for some of you lucky bastards) in Tees. So, don’t screw it up.

‘It’ being the fit, that is.

Once you find the holy grail of the perfectly fitting T-Shirt using this guide, don’t think. Buy them by the dozen.

1. Don’t look yourself in the mirror first. Look at your shoulders.

Your first order of biz in the dressing room: check the shoulder seams. It should end right at the edge of your shoulder blades where it rounds off to your arms. Take this as your first QC criteria for the perfectly fitting Tee.

2. Sleeve Peeves

Chances are, wearing T-shirts with gaping, flaring sleeves would make you come across an unappetizing life-sized chicken wing. And we also know having sleeves wrapped flush around your guns is the holy grail of T-shirt fit. It’s perfectly a-ok if it doesn’t, because the point is to minimise space between the arm hole and your arm. That’s good enough, tell yourself that.

Two tricks here; start combing retail brands that stock a slimmer cut with narrower arm holes (preferably not online… even the pros can get it wrong). Either that, or fold up half an inch of your sleeves.

Or just start lifting, bro.

3. Hem Sandwich

Your second QC criteria: the hem. It should fall a good 6 to 8cm below the belt, depending on your height. If it floats over the entirety of your crotch and upper thighs like a mini dress, it’s too long. Conversely, it sure as hell shouldn’t look like a cropped top when you raise your arms to clutch the bus handle.

4. Mind The Fabric

Everyone knows about cotton. They’re lightweight, breathable, comfortable to wear and easy to layer. But not all cotton are created equal. Wear or launder enough of the lower grade ones and you’ll lose the original fit fast, and you find yourself back at the shop dropping more money on lousy, disposable basic Tees.

Come employ our little touch test, invest in quality fabric and end that wastrel of a cycle. Having trace amounts of stretch or tautness is a bonus for fit retention. But in the absence of it, how would you know if it’s great cotton?

Simple; give it a gentle yank (or place a finger under the T-shirt and pull it outwards) and see how well it snaps back. If it collapses back limply, it’s a no. And obviously, it shouldn’t feel like you’re releasing rubber band. We’re not shopping for compression tights here, buddy.

Another possible indication is not just on the laundry label, but the price tag.

5. What The Neck?

Crew neck: This one’s for you, tall lanky folks. Or just about anyone, actually.
V-neck: This one’s for you, the chestier and hairier ones among us.
Deep V-neck: This one’s for you, who isn’t having much luck on Grindr.