Enter Seriously Man Merch, a column where we recommend the best-est buys to upgrade your handsomeness. After dry-running them for ourselves first, of course. 

About 12 years ago, being the genius that I was, I impulse-bought a brown skull buckle belt from an American luxury clothing label (considered a luxury at that time, anyway). It cost me about a month’s worth of allowance.

I absolutely adored it: the smell of leather, the matte finish on the plate buckle, the expensive-ness, the protruded skull in the centerman, THE SKULL! Every damn chance I got, I wore it out and tucked the front of my T-shirt in so everybody could get shook by my Emblem of Infinite Coolness.

Now, if I were seeing my younger self, I’d unstrap the belt from his waist and whip him silly for that style monstrosity. I’d take the plate buckle and eat sushi off of it. That’s how obnoxiously large it was. Thankfully, I don’t see much of this long departed trend of the 2000s.

But that doesn’t mean new problems don’t exist. As one of the core accessories in a man’s style arsenal, a belt serves a practical purpose of keeping your pants up. That, as far as I can see, is doing the job just fine. And it wouldn’t be categorised an accessory if a belt can’t add aesthetic flair to your outfit – that’s where men can’t seem to get right.

The most meme-worthy mistake that I’ve spotted in recent times? Overly lengthy belts. Some gentlemen, perhaps for no other reason than to overcompensate for the lack of penile inches, have a tendency to wear belts (usually the webbed kind) so long that the extra length dangles off the side of the pants. Still, I’ve to ask, man. Why?  

I chalked it up to the fact that they might be unaware of how it’s ruining their looks, just like the ignoramus in me 12 years ago. Awareness, as I’d learned, is only as commonsensical as this fix: the belts you shop for at stores come in different sizes – like pants – and you just have to ask for your waist size. Try it on. Yes, you can actually do that.

If you’re at a store that only stocks uniform sizes, use this as a barometer: the tip of the belt, after buckling it in, should end at about 7 to 11cm after the final loop. Most importantly, it shouldn’t be floating and flapping about.

Still doesn’t look right? There’s always another shop. One particular online outfit might surprise you.

Get Looped In On CINCH Belts

While it’s always heartening when you gents apply our seriously on-point tips, it’s another thing to shop for that ‘it’ product. Hunting down that elusive ‘it’ product demands no little patience, experimentation and capital from you. Unless, of course, it is tailor-made.

CINCH Belts, a local start-up launched in April 2018, may not be what you call tailor-made, but you could’ve sworn it is. It is fashioned ingeniously such that any man can be his own belt tailor and make idiot-proof DIY customisations to fit him, even on the fly. No longer do you have to make troublesome revisits to the mall just to get it readjusted.

Let’s break down how CINCH Belts can make resolving all the above belt-wearing mishaps a – what else – cinch.         

#1: Sloppy to sharp in a minute

Those unsavoury, dangly bits of overextended belts is a cancer you can cut away from your life. Literally. Upon releasing the catch on the detachable belt buckle, you can slide the leather strap out and snip down to the desired length (you do remember what it is, right?). Once you’re happy, simply slide it back in and clip it on.

But as the instruction slip says, you might want to be prudent as you trim. It’s not going to grow out like your hair.

#2: Guarantees perfect fit, no matter how imperfect the waistline

You can go donate your holey belts to the church, because the new age belts would have what CINCH Belts have: the InfiniTrack™ technology. This is the pony trick that helps you get around all that belly bloating/pants comfort dichotomy after you’ve had a particularly heavy lunch.

The ‘track’ underneath the belt is designed with 32 micro notches – each 0.25 inches apart – meaning you don’t need to make a scarily big commitment to the next looser catch (as with traditional belts) and get the disconcerting sensation your pants are about to drop.

#3: Classic design that won’t look out of place

With its decidedly (and desirably) minimalistic finish that speaks for itself, you’ll never be caught with your pants down – figuratively – be it at your no-nonsense office or the weekend night out with the Bros.

That said, the length and fit aren’t the only properties you get to tinker with. CINCH Belts comes in three choices of colours for the buckle (Black/Silver/Vintage Gold), and two for the grain leather belt (Black/Brown) for you to permutate to your heart’s content.

Getting yourself one of these is only a few clicks away HERE. All purchases come with a lifetime warranty – let this CINCH you in if you haven’t already.